


He Gets That From Me

by xheybails



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-18 06:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2338202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xheybails/pseuds/xheybails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without him, I don’t know what I’d do, he gets that from you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Gets That From Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is really sad. Sorry in advance. Also, italics: flashbacks, bold: lyrics.

  
******_His early morning attitude_ **   
**_You have to drag him out of bed_ **   
**_Only frosted flakes will do_ **   
**_He gets that from me_ **   


  
“Tony, come on, you’re going to be late for school!”  
  
I groan to myself when I get no response.  I walk around the counter, nearly tripping over Bass as I make my way to the stairs.  “Damn turtle.”  
  
As if he knew I called him the wrong species again, he seemed to give me the death glare.  As much as a tortoise can glare, anyway.  
  
“Tony!  Don’t make me come up there!”  
  
“Coming, Ma!”  
  
She watched as he stumbled down the stairs toward her, Jo at his feet.  He was still dressed in his Cars pajamas.  He refused to wear anything but the set Maura bought him for his birthday last year, but I understood why.  
  
“Baby, why aren’t you dressed?  It’s your first day of second grade, aren’t you excited?”  
  
Must be a morning for glares in this house.  
  
“Can’t I just come to work with you instead?”  
  
Tony had spent almost everyday of the past summer down at the station with me, alternating between time in my office and time with Ma down in the café.  
  
He was just like me in some ways; I hated school when I was his age too.  It would break Maura’s heart to know her little boy wasn’t looking forward to spending the day in a classroom.  
  
“Don’t you want to grow up to be a genius like your mom?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He gave me a sad smile and I returned one that was just as sad.  I poured his milk and walked behind him, kissing the top of his head before heading to his room to get his clothes.  
  
I hoped one day it would get easier to talk about her.  I knew it made Tony upset to think about her, but he was only seven when Maura died and there was no way I was going to let him forget her.  
  
Leaving Tony’s room, she glanced at the picture next to his bed.  It was Maura’s favorite, the one taken of the three of them the day Tony was born.  Maura was holding the little boy in her arms and I was looking down at them, a grin on my face.  I don’t think I stopped smiling once that day.  
  
I picked up the frame and ran my finger across my wife’s face, then brought it to my chest, taking in a deep breath.  
  
“I miss you, Maur.”

  
**_His curly hair and his knobby knees_ **   
**_The way the sun brings those freckles out  
Talk and talk, never miss a beat  
He gets that from me_ **   


  
After I dropped Tony off at school, I drove down to BPD, dropping my car out front as usual.  I made a stop in the café to say hi to Ma and grab a cup of coffee before heading upstairs.  
  
“Morning, Janie.  How are you doing today?”  
  
“I’m okay, Ma.  Thanks for the coffee.”  
  
“Did Tony make it to school okay?”  
  
“Yeah, he was a little reluctant to go, but once he was there he was fine.”  
  
“Well, there’s no question he’s your son.  I used to have to bribe you to get you to school some days.”  
  
“I had hoped he would inherit the genius gene from Maura and I wouldn’t have to go that far.”  
  
“There’s still time for that.  I’m sure he will make a great doctor one day.”  
  
I nodded in response, giving her a hug before making my way to my office.  I sat down at my desk and let out a sigh, my eyes falling on a picture of Maura and I on our wedding day.  It was a candid shot of us during our first dance, our eyes were locked and we were grinning at one another.  
  
We were so happy that day.  
  
It had been the best day of my life so far, later to be bested only by the day Tony was born.    
  
I will never forget that day, just like I will never forget the worst day of my life.  
  
 _“Get out of my way!”_  
  
 _“Mrs. Rizzoli, we can’t let you back there right now, the doctors are working on her, you can’t be there!”_  
  
 _“I need to see my wife.  Let me see her!”_  
  
 _Moments later, the doctor who had been working on Maura came out into the hall; I could tell by the look on his face that that news wasn’t good._  
  
 _“I’m sorry, Jane.  We did everything we could.”_  
  
 _“No.  No.  No.”  No other word would come out.  This couldn’t be happening.  She couldn’t be gone.  She was fine this morning.  She was laughing with Tony as she got him ready for school; she was fine; she had to be fine._  
  
 _“She didn’t make it, Jane.  There was too much damage.”_  
  
 _“I need to see her.”_  
  
 _The doctor led her back to the small, white room.  There were so many tubes and wires coming out of her, the sight alone broke my heart.  She looked the same only paler, probably from the blood loss.  For a moment, I couldn’t move.  I was frozen in place, staring at her._  
  
 _Surely, that couldn’t be my wife lying there._  
  
 _Surely, this was some cruel joke._  
  
 _I walked over to her, taking her hand in mine and sat down in the chair next to her bed.  I squeezed her hand as tight as I could and rested my head on her chest, straining my ears impossibly to hear a heartbeat._  
  
 _There wasn’t one._  
  
 _“Maur, baby, you’ve got to wake up.  Please.  You can’t leave me, baby, you can’t.  I need you.  I love you so much, Maura, please, just wake up for me.  What am I supposed to do without you?”_  
  
 _The tears I’d been holding in for what felt like hours finally fell from my eyes, I cried until I couldn’t cry any more._  
  
 _She was really gone._  
  
 _All those years, all those close calls at work, all the times she had been put in danger and made it out the other side and she was taken down by an idiot who ran a red light._  
  
 _It wasn’t fair._  
  
I forced myself to look away from her face and wiped a tear from my eye.  At least the tears were finally starting to become less frequent.  It still hit me sometimes, when I would see her cold, empty face, usually in my sleep, and I’d wake up crying and couldn’t fall back asleep until I walked down the hall to Tony’s room and joined him in his bed.  
  
I really don’t know how I would have gotten through this without him.

  
**_He looks at me with those big brown eyes_ **   
**_He’s got me in the palm of his hands_ **   
**_And I swear sometimes, it’s just like you’re here again_ **   


At exactly three o’clock, I was parked outside Advent School waiting for Tony.  About six months ago, I had taken the promotion to Lieutenant, I wasn’t thrilled about not spending time in the field anymore, but I didn’t have much of a choice.  
  
I couldn’t exactly go out and risk my life every day anymore.  
  
I’m all Tony has left; I have to make sure I come home to him.  He can’t lose both his moms.  
  
The car door opening jarred me from my thoughts and I smiled as I watched him climb up into the car.  His blonde curls feel over his eyes and I reached out to brush it back for him.  He looked up at me with the same hazel eyes I fell in love with all those years ago.  
  
Sometimes it hits me harder than others, some days it struck me just how much he looks like her.  He had her eyes, her nose, and her same honey blonde hair.    
  
It was both a gift and a curse.  
  
“Hey Ma?”  
  
“Yeah, baby?”  
  
“Can we go see Mommy today?”  
  
He had never asked to go see her before.  They had been a few times, mostly on the important days, her birthday, their anniversary, a few times when I missed her so much that I just had to talk to her.  
  
I was surprised to hear it, but pleasantly so.  I nodded to him and put the car in drive, pointing it toward the cemetery.

  
**_He smiles that little crooked smile_ **   
**_There’s no denying he’s your child_ **   
**_Without him, I don’t know what I’d do_ **   
**_He gets that from you_ **   


  
When I pulled up and put the car in park, I let him jump out ahead of me so he could have a few minutes alone with her.  I saw him stop in front of the black granite gravestone and sit down; tucked his feet under his legs and place the flower they had stopped for in front of him.  
  
He began to talk to her; I assumed he was telling her all about his first day.  
  
After a few minutes, I joined him and overheard the tail end of his conversation.  
  
“And then Tim picked me to be on his kickball team at recess, and I scored a run!  I kicked it so hard, Mommy, I wish you could have seen it.”  
  
I sat behind him and pulled him onto my lap, wrapping my arms around his small frame and resting my head on top of his.  
  
“I miss her, Mama.”  
  
“I miss her too, baby.  I miss her too.”  
  
“Do you think she’s okay up there by herself?”  
  
“Of course she is.  She gets to look down and watch over you everyday, of course she is okay.”  
  
“But do you think she gets lonely?”  
  
“I’m sure she misses us, just like we miss her.  But she’s always with us.”  
  
Tony rested his head back against my chest and we sat there in silence for a while.  Maybe it would never get easier, I knew I would never stop missing her, I knew I would never love another, but I was grateful to at least have Tony as a daily reminder of my wife.  
  
“Come on, baby, let’s get home.”

  
**_How he loves your old guitar_ **   
**_He’s taught himself to play_ **   
**_He melts my heart_ **   
**_Tells me he loves me everyday_ **   


  
“Can I watch some TV before bed, Ma?”  
  
“You need to practice your piano first, mister.  You have your lesson tomorrow after school.”  
  
He sighed and agreed, walking over to the baby grand in the corner.  Just like school, he always complained about it beforehand, but loved it once he got started.  He was good at it, too.  
  
A natural.  Just like his mom.  
  
 _“Maur?”_  
  
 _I walked into her house and heard the soft piano playing, so I knew she must be home.  I was surprised to see her siting at the piano, a simple, yet beautiful melody coming from her fingers._  
  
 _I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulder, placing a kiss on her cheek._  
  
 _“I didn’t know you played.”_  
  
 _“Since I was six.  I don’t play much anymore; I never seem to have the time.  But for some reason, I just felt like I needed to today.”_  
  
 _“Can I listen?”_  
  
 _She patted the bench next to her and I sat down next to her as she continued to play.  I had seen Maura in hundreds of different settings, different restaurants, crime scenes, the morgue, her office, her house, but seeing her here was something new and completely different._  
  
 _This was a side of her I had never seen before, and I loved it._  
  
 _There was something so peaceful, so serene, so beautiful about the way the music flowed out from her, she didn’t have any music in front of her, she simply played from the heart._  
  
 _When she had finally finished, I took one look at her and I knew._  
  
 _I wasn’t exactly sure what it was I knew, but I knew it._  
  
 _“Marry me, Maura.”_  
  
 _She didn’t say a word, but a tear rolled down her cheek and she pulled me in for a passionate kiss.  Her lips crashed down on mine and I don’t think I had ever felt anything quite like it._  
  
 _“Is that a yes, then?”  I asked when we finally parted several minutes later._  
  
 _“Yes, that’s a yes.”_  
  
 _She smiled at me and kissed me again and we made love that night for hours.  We both turned up at work the next morning exhausted, but we didn’t really care._  
  
 _We had each other, that was all that mattered._

  
**_He cracks a joke at the perfect time_ **   
**_Makes me laugh when I want to cry_ **   
**_That boy is everything to me_ **   
**_He gets that from you_ **   


  
Watching Tony play, it’s just like listening to her.  Maybe one day he will be able to play the song from Maura’s heart.  
  
Maura would have told me it was ridiculous to think that was possible.  Tony had never heard the song; Maura had never written it down, how could he possibly know it?  
  
But I have to believe in those kinds of things these days.  It’s the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind.  
  
I have to believe that she is up there somewhere, watching over us, I don’t know how to function otherwise.  
  
I stop to listen to Tony’s song for a minute.  It wasn’t the same, but it was similar to that song Maura played me all those years ago, close enough that I can’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes.  
  
Almost a year has passed and I have still yet to make it through a day without crying.  
  
As if he knew something was wrong, Tony stopped playing and turned to look at me, then ran to me when he saw my tears.  
  
“What’s wrong, Mama?”  
  
“You are so much like her, you know that?”  
  
He nodded and gave her a hug.  “I love you, Ma.”  
  
“I love you too, baby.  Now go finish your practice so we can get you to bed.”

  
**_Last night I heard him pray_ **   
**_Lord, help me and Mama make it through_ **   
**_And tell Mommy we’ll be okay_ **   
**_He said he sure misses you_ **   


  
I held his stuffed tortoise, Bass Junior, as he climbed into bed, then pulled his covers up to his chin.  Jo Friday jumped up to join him and curled up in her usual spot behind his legs.  
  
“Goodnight baby, I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, Mama.  Are you going to be okay?”  
  
I was startled by his question, but I really shouldn’t have been.  He was the son of a detective, after all.  “Yeah, baby, I’ll be okay.  I just miss her.”  
  
“I miss Mommy too.  But she’s always right here.”  
  
He put his hand to my chest, feeling my heartbeat under his palm.  I lost it for the third time today.  
  
Even at eight years old, he was so smart, so strong, so poetic, so beautiful.  
  
Just like his mom.

  
**_He really misses you_ **   
**_He gets that from me_ **   



End file.
